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Category: High Debt

High Debt/

You Are Not Bad With Money. The Math Just Does Not Work Anymore.

You Are Not Bad With Money. The Math Just Does Not Work Anymore.

I paid a few hundred dollars toward one of my credit cards. Felt good about it. Went to bed.

Woke up the next morning and the interest had already come through. A couple hundred dollars. Just like that. Gone. Like the payment I just made barely even counted.

I wanted to scream. And I know I am not the only one who has typed “why can’t I get ahead financially” into Google at midnight because the numbers just are not adding up no matter what you do.

Not because you did something wrong. Not because you are irresponsible. Because you are doing the thing you are supposed to do and the numbers are still moving in the wrong direction. That feeling of doing everything right and watching it not matter is one of the most frustrating things I have ever experienced with money. And I know I am not the only one sitting with it.

The Story We Were Told Does Not Add Up Anymore

We grew up with a pretty clear script. Work hard. Get educated. Get a good job. Pay your bills on time. Stay out of trouble financially and you will be fine.

Nobody updated the script when the cost of everything started climbing and the paychecks did not keep up. Nobody told us that doing it all right could still leave you behind. That you could have a real job, a real income, real intentions, and still be watching your debt barely move while the interest keeps stacking.

That is not a character flaw. That is just math that was never set up in your favor.

Groceries cost more. Rent costs more. Gas costs more. Everything you need to just exist is more expensive than it was a few years ago. And if your income has not grown at the same rate, which for most people it has not, then you are already starting every month in a hole you did not dig yourself.

Add debt with real interest rates into that picture and the math gets even uglier. You make a payment. Interest charges. You make another payment. Interest charges again. It feels like you are running on a treadmill that keeps speeding up no matter how hard you push.

Why It Feels Like Drowning

There is a specific kind of hopeless that comes from trying and not seeing it work. It is different from not trying. When you are not trying you can at least tell yourself that things would be different if you did. But when you ARE trying, when you are making the payments and watching the numbers and doing the thing, and it still feels like nothing is changing?

That is when the spiral starts. Maybe I am just bad with money. Maybe I will always be in debt. Maybe this is just what my life is. I have been in that spiral, shoot I’m still in that spiral. It is a lying spiral. It takes real circumstances, real economic pressure, real systemic garbage, and turns it into a story about your worth. And once you are in it, it is hard to see clearly enough to figure out what would actually help.

You are not drowning because you are doing it wrong. You are drowning because the water level keeps rising and nobody warned you to get a boat.

What Is Actually Happening With That Interest

When I saw that interest charge come through the morning after my payment I had to just sit with it for a minute. Because it genuinely felt like a punishment for trying.

That is kind of exactly what high interest debt is. It is a system designed to make sure that the longer you are in it the harder it is to get out. The minimum payment is calculated to keep you in the cycle as long as possible. The interest compounds in a way that is specifically designed to work against you if you do not have a strategy.

It is not personal. The credit card company is not targeting you specifically. But it is also not an accident. It is working exactly as designed. Which means getting out of it requires working against the design on purpose. That takes a system. Not willpower. Not shame. A system!

What I Want You to Take From This

You are not bad with money.

You are a person trying to manage money in an economy that has gotten genuinely harder to navigate. You are dealing with interest rates and inflation and stagnant wages that have nothing to do with your discipline or your worth.

The frustration you feel is valid. The wanting to scream is valid. The feeling of being stuck in a cycle you cannot figure out how to break is valid. But stuck is not the same as permanent.

If you are at the point where you are ready to stop just surviving the cycle and start building something to fight back against it, I wrote about exactly that. The Broke Tax is what I built for myself when I got tired of watching my payments disappear into interest and needed something that could actually hold the whole picture in one place. It is not a magic fix. Nothing is. But it is a system, and a system is what the math actually requires. You can check out that system here.

If you are not ready for a system yet, that is okay too. Sometimes you just need to know that someone else is frustrated and in it and still going. I am here. I am documenting all of it. You are not alone in this!

High Debt/

The Broke Tax Is Real. Here Is What I Built to Fight Back Against It.

The Broke Tax Is Real. Here Is What I Built to Fight Back Against It.

There is a thing that happens when you carry debt long enough that nobody really talks about. You stop being broke because of a bad decision. You start being broke because of math. The interest charges, the late fees when things stack up wrong, the overdraft you did not see coming because you forgot about that automatic payment. None of it feels like a mistake anymore. It just feels like the way it is.

That is the Broke Tax. The invisible surcharge that gets added to your life when your debt load is heavy enough that you cannot quite get ahead. You are paying more than you owe because you owed it in the first place.

I tried to do it right. The way they told me to. Go to college, get a job, get the graduate degrees so you can get the raise. Do all of that and you still end up in debt. Deep debt. And do not even get me started on the credit cards. Every payday my check was disappearing into bills and payments before I could blink, and I kept telling myself that something had to change.

So I made something, a system that I’m using that is starting to work.

What Being In Debt Actually Feels Like From Inside It

People talk about debt like it is mostly a math problem. Add up the balances, pick a payoff method, execute. And yes, eventually it is a math problem. But it does not feel like math when you are in it.

It feels like a cloud that follows you around. You are at a dinner with people you love and somewhere in the back of your brain there is a number running. You get a nice paycheck and for about twenty minutes you feel relief and then you remember what it has to cover. You want to do something for yourself, something reasonable and small, and you run a whole internal calculation before you let yourself have it.

I am irresponsible with money. I am surviving a season of life that cost more than I expect and taking the time to build a career that pays what I deserve. A lot of people reading this are in exactly the same position. The debt did not happen because you are bad with money. It happened because life is expensive and income does not always catch up on schedule.

That is worth saying out loud because the shame of it is what keeps most people from actually doing anything. You cannot solve a problem you are too embarrassed to look at directly.

The Moment I Got Honest About the System I Was Missing

I had been doing the thing where I knew roughly what I owed but not exactly. Knew roughly what my bills were but not precisely. Knew I was supposed to be putting more toward debt but could not always tell you why the money was gone before I got there.

The problem was not discipline. I have plenty of that in other areas of my life. The problem was that I did not have a system. I was reacting to my money every payday instead of directing it. There is a huge difference between those two things and I spent longer than I want to admit figuring that out.

What I needed was something that could hold all of it in one place. Not a complicated budget. Not a spreadsheet that requires a finance degree to maintain. Just a clear, real, honest accounting of what I owe, what I make, and how every dollar gets assigned before I spend a single one of them. So I built it.

What I Made and Why I Made It This Way

The Broke Tax is the workbook I made for myself and then realized I needed to share because I know I am not the only person who needed it. It is 45 pages and it is not fluff. Every section does something specific.

It starts with a Debt Reality Check because you cannot work on something you have not looked at fully. Not the vague sense of what you owe. The actual number. Every balance, every interest rate, every minimum payment, written down in one place for the first time.

Then it walks you through picking a payoff method that actually fits your life, not just the one that is technically most efficient on paper. There is a big difference between the method that works in theory and the one you will actually stick to for two years.

The Paycheck Assignment section is the part I use every single payday. You assign every dollar of your check before you spend anything. Bills, debt payments, essentials, and then whatever is left. It sounds simple. It changes everything.

There is a Short Paycheck Protocol for the months when things get tight, a Spending Audit that is not judgmental, an Income Unlock Plan for looking at what additional income might actually be realistic for your life, a full monthly progress tracker, and a 30-day kickstart plan to get you moving in the first two weeks.

It also has motivational pages because I know that the mindset piece is not separate from the strategy piece. You will not follow through on a plan you do not believe in. The workbook accounts for that.

Who This Is For

This is for the person who makes decent money and still feels broke. The person who knows they need to deal with the debt but has been putting off really looking at it. The person who has tried budgets before and found them unsustainable.

It is not for someone in a financial crisis who needs a credit counselor. It is for someone who is stable, working, and ready to stop letting debt just happen to them every month.

If that is you, this is the thing I wish I had had two years ago.

The Broke Tax is a 45-page printable workbook available in my Gumroad shop for $17. It is also on Etsy. Print it once, use it for as long as you need it.

One More Thing

The Broke Tax is real. It costs you real money in interest and fees and the mental overhead of carrying debt that never seems to move. But it is not permanent and it is not a character flaw.

And if you have ever been told to just budget better, I already wrote about why that advice misses the point entirely. You just need a system that works for your actual life. This one works for mine.

If you have been putting off looking at the full picture, this is the nudge. Go grab the workbook. Do the Debt Reality Check page first. Just that one page will shift something. I know because it was the first time in a long time I felt like I actually knew what I was dealing with instead of just guessing. Still working on it, and I will be documenting everything right here as I go! 

High Debt/

I Have Three Types of Debt and a 9-to-5 That Does Not Cover All of It. Here Is What I Am Actually Doing.

I Have Three Types of Debt and a 9-to-5 That Does Not Cover All of It. Here Is What I Am Actually Doing

Nobody tells you this part. They celebrate the degree. They ask what is next. And somewhere in the back of your mind you are doing the math on what all of it actually cost. The tuition, yes. But also the credit cards you leaned on when money got tight. The personal loan that covered the gap. The student debt that was just supposed to be normal.

I did everything right on paper. I stayed in school, got the degrees, built the resume. I came out the other side with a 9-to-5 job I am grateful for and a debt load that does not quite match the life I thought I was building toward. Credit cards, a personal loan, student loans. The full set.

So here we are!

This post is not a success story with a clean ending. I am in it right now. Some months I hit my targets and some months something unexpected happens and I am recalibrating. What I can offer is a real system that is actually working, the mistakes I made before I figured it out, and the specific things I do every payday to keep moving forward without making myself miserable.

If you are dealing with multiple debts on an income that does not feel like enough, this is for you.

First, the Honest Picture of Where I Started

Before I could do anything useful with my debt I had to actually face what I owed. Not a vague sense of it. The real numbers.

I sat down with every account open and wrote four things for each debt:

  • The current balance
  • The interest rate
  • The minimum payment
  • The due date

That list was uncomfortable to make. It was also the first time I had been in the same room as my actual financial situation in a long time. Something about seeing it all on one page made it feel more like a problem to solve and less like a cloud of dread following me around.

If you have not done this yet, that is your first move. Not a budget. Not a debt payoff calculator. Just a list. Four columns, every debt. That is it.

The Three Rules I Set Before I Made Any Other Decisions

Once I had the full picture I made three rules for myself before I started building a plan. These came from watching myself fail at other attempts where I skipped this part.

Rule 1: Minimum payments are not negotiable.

Every debt gets its minimum payment every month before anything else happens. Missing minimums damages your credit score, adds late fees, and can trigger penalty interest rates that make your situation worse. There is no strategy worth risking this.

Rule 2: The plan has to include my actual life.

I am not going to stop buying books or cancel every social plan for two years to pay off debt faster. I have tried versions of that and they do not hold. A sustainable plan is one I can actually run month after month. So my budget includes real spending money for the things that matter to my quality of life. Not unlimited. But real.

Rule 3: Progress is progress, even when it is small.

On months where I can only cover minimums, that is what I do. Keeping everything current when that is genuinely all I can manage is not failure. It is maintenance. It keeps the situation from getting worse while I figure out the next move.

The System I Use Now

Every payday I do what I call a paycheck reset before I spend anything. It takes about fifteen minutes and it has changed how I relate to money more than any other habit I have built. Here is the short version:

  • Write down the actual amount that hit my account after taxes
  • Subtract every fixed bill and minimum payment due before next payday
  • Decide deliberately if there is any extra to throw at one target debt
  • Set my living budget for the rest of the pay period from what is left
  • Check in briefly at the end of each week to stay on track

That is it. No complicated spreadsheet. No tracking every coffee. Just a clear picture of what I am working with and a conscious decision about where it goes.

I go much deeper on this in the paycheck reset post, which is worth reading if you want the full breakdown.

How I Decided What to Pay Extra On First

With minimums covered the question becomes where to put any extra money. I use a hybrid approach.

I picked one target debt based on two things: the interest rate and how close it is to being gone. A debt that is nearly paid off and also has a high rate is a good early target because you get the psychological win of eliminating it and you stop the interest bleeding quickly.

I do not stress about optimizing this perfectly. The best debt payoff strategy is the one you actually stick with. If seeing a balance hit zero keeps you motivated, pay the smallest first. If knowing you are saving the most money long term keeps you going, attack the highest rate. Either works better than doing nothing.

One More Thing About Having Multiple Types of Debt

Credit cards, personal loans, and student loans all behave differently. Credit cards tend to have the highest interest rates so they cost you the most the longer they sit. Personal loans usually have fixed terms so you know exactly when they end. Student loans have the most options, including income-based repayment plans and pause options, depending on your situation.

Understanding the type of debt you have changes how you prioritize it. I always recommend calling your student loan servicer directly if you are struggling because there are more options available there than most people know about.

Where to Start If You Are Just Getting Here

Make the list. Four columns, every debt, today. Not tomorrow. Today.

Then come back and read the paycheck reset post because that is the habit that actually moves everything forward. Everything else in High Debt builds from that foundation.

This is a slow process. It is not linear. But it is absolutely possible on a regular income without extreme sacrifice, and that is exactly what I am proving month by month.

The Paycheck to Debt Decision Planner in the shop is the three-page tool I use for my payday reset every single month. It is $5 and you can use it starting this paycheck.

High Debt/

Why “Just Budget Better” Doesn’t Work When You’re Overwhelmed With Debt

Why "Just Budget Better" Doesn't Work When You're Overwhelmed With Debt

People love to say “just budget better” as if budgeting exists in a vacuum. As if the only thing standing between you and financial stability is a better spreadsheet or more discipline. When you’re overwhelmed, that advice doesn’t feel helpful. It feels dismissive.

When money stress is high, budgeting stops being a neutral tool for me. It turns into another reminder of everything that isn’t working. Every category feels too tight, every number feels off, and instead of clarity, I’m left feeling more pressure than before. That’s usually the moment people assume you need to try harder, when in reality, that’s the moment your capacity is already tapped out.

When money is tight, I don’t magically become more organized. I actually do the opposite. I avoid logging in. I delay decisions. I let things sit longer than I should because looking at them feels overwhelming. No app or budgeting method has ever fixed that response. If anything, strict budgeting makes it worse because it asks for structure at the exact moment I need flexibility.

What I’ve learned is that budgeting isn’t always the place to start. Sometimes it’s something you work back toward once things feel steadier. When I’m overwhelmed, trying to “budget better” just adds another layer of pressure. What helps more is simplifying the situation so I can stay engaged instead of shutting down.

That usually means stripping things down to the basics. Instead of a full budget, I look at a simple list of bills. Just what’s due and when. I don’t worry about categories or perfect allocations. I’m just trying to understand what I’m actually dealing with in real time. From there, I focus less on optimization and more on consequences. Which bills cause real problems if they’re late, and which ones have some flexibility? Are there due dates that can be moved to line up better with a paycheck? Sometimes a single phone call makes a month feel more manageable.

Overwhelm also changes how progress needs to be measured. When everything feels abstract, I lose motivation quickly. Looking at balances that barely move doesn’t encourage me to keep going. Tangible actions help more. Tracking small efforts, like selling items to put money toward debt, makes progress feel real even when it’s slow. That’s what keeps me showing up instead of avoiding everything.

I also don’t try to solve the entire picture at once. When money is tight, I decide what gets paid first and let the rest wait. I make one paycheck decision at a time and reassess as I go. That approach might not look impressive on paper, but it keeps me functional. And staying functional matters more than following a perfect plan I can’t maintain. I’ve written more about how I actually make those decisions when money is tight, because figuring out what gets paid first has mattered more for me than trying to follow a perfect budget.

A lot of budgeting advice ignores the reality of living in an economy where wages don’t match the cost of living, rent keeps increasing, groceries cost more every month, and extra income isn’t guaranteed. When the math doesn’t work, no amount of discipline fixes that. Pretending otherwise just turns systemic problems into personal failures.

I’ve had to unlearn the idea that struggling with budgeting means I’m irresponsible. I already carry enough shame around debt and where I “should” be by now. But shame has never helped me make better decisions. It’s only ever made me avoid them. Letting go of that has made it easier to approach my finances with honesty instead of fear.

Budgeting can still be useful. I’m not against it. I just don’t believe it works the same way in every season of life. When you’re overwhelmed, the goal isn’t control. It’s stability. It’s staying present enough to keep making decisions, even if they’re imperfect. Sometimes that means setting aside advice that sounds good and choosing what actually fits your reality. That’s why I focus more on deciding what debt gets paid first when money is tight instead of forcing a perfect budget.I’m not against budgeting. I just know that sometimes capacity has to come before structure. I’m still figuring out what works for me in different seasons, and I’ll keep sharing it as I go further in my High Debt series! Follow along! 

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How I Decide What Debt Gets Paid First When Money Is Tight

How I Decide What Debt Gets Paid First When Money Is Tight

When money is tight, deciding which debt to pay first can feel overwhelming and produce a huge mental load. Every bill feels urgent. Every balance feels loud. And somehow, no matter what you pay, it still feels like the wrong choice.

For a long time, I thought there was a perfect order. Some clean, strategic formula that would tell me exactly which debt deserved attention first. But when money is tight, the goal isn’t perfection. It’s stability. And stability looks different than optimization.

Before I decide which debt to pay first, I look at my actual life. Rent. Utilities. Groceries. Transportation. If paying a credit card means I’m stressed about basic living expenses two weeks later, that’s not responsible. That’s reactive. Debt never comes before keeping my life steady.

Once the essentials are covered, I stop thinking about balances and start thinking about consequences. Some debts are loud but flexible. Others move quickly toward fees, reporting, or escalation. When I can’t pay everything, I prioritize what could create immediate damage not what simply looks intimidating. That’s the exact framework I break down in my paycheck-to-debt decision planner.

I’ve also stopped obsessing over the size of a balance. A larger number doesn’t automatically make it the priority. What matters more is timing. What’s due before my next paycheck? What will add stress if it sits untouched? When money is tight, I care more about what keeps the next few weeks calm than what looks impressive on paper.

If I can’t pay something in full, I make a partial payment without turning it into a moral crisis. That took practice. For a long time, anything less than the full amount felt like failure. Now I see it differently. Paying what I realistically can is still participation. It keeps the account active. It keeps me engaged.

And when two payments feel equally important, I choose the one that lets me breathe after I click submit. That might not sound strategic, but it is. The payment that reduces mental noise is often the one that makes it easier to keep going.

I don’t try to solve my entire debt situation in one paycheck. I decide what keeps me stable now and let future paychecks handle future decisions. That approach has done more for my consistency than any strict budgeting system ever did.

Debt still exists. The numbers are still there. But the pressure feels lighter when I focus on maintaining stability instead of chasing the perfect order.

If you’re in a tight month, the “right” debt to pay first is the one that keeps your life functioning. The rest can follow. If budgeting still feels impossible right now, I’ve written about why “just budget better” doesn’t work when you’re overwhelmed with debt. You can check that out here! 

High Debt/

My Paycheck Reset: How I Rebalance After a Bad Money Month

My Paycheck Reset: How I Rebalance After a Bad Money Month

Some months don’t just go a little off track. They fall apart. A bill hits earlier than expected, something unexpected comes up, or I’m already exhausted and make choices I wouldn’t have made in a calmer season. By the time the month ends, the damage feels done, and the pressure to “fix it” immediately kicks in.

I used to treat those months like failures. I’d promise myself I’d be stricter next time, more disciplined, more on top of things. That approach never worked. It only made the next month feel heavier before it even started. What’s helped more is having a reset that isn’t about erasing the past month, but about getting steady again without spiraling.

For me, a paycheck reset isn’t a fresh start. It’s a re-entry point. It’s how I move forward after a bad month without pretending it didn’t happen or punishing myself for it.

The first thing I do is shrink my focus. I don’t look at the entire month or the full debt picture. I look at the next paycheck only. What’s due before the next time I get paid? What absolutely needs to be covered so my life doesn’t get disrupted further? Keeping the scope small makes it easier to stay engaged instead of freezing.

Once I know what’s immediately due, I think in terms of timing and consequences rather than totals. I’m not trying to optimize or catch up all at once. I’m trying to prevent the situation from getting worse. That might mean letting some things wait, making partial payments, or choosing the option that buys me time. Resetting is about containment, not perfection.

I’m also careful not to overcorrect. After a bad month, it’s tempting to cut everything non-essential or try to make up for lost ground aggressively. That usually backfires for me. Extreme restrictions make me more likely to burn out and repeat the same patterns. Instead, I aim for balance. I tighten where I realistically can, but I don’t strip everything down to the point where the next few weeks feel unbearable.

Part of the reset is deciding what not to focus on right away. I don’t obsess over balances or replay every decision that led to the bad month. That information doesn’t help me move forward. What helps is getting back into the habit of making decisions at all. Once I’m doing that consistently, clarity comes back on its own.

This is also where prioritization matters. When money is tight after a rough month, I lean on the same approach I use to decide which debt gets paid first when money is tight, because making one clear decision matters more than trying to rebalance everything at once.

I’ve noticed that the reset is working when my relationship with my finances starts to feel calmer. I’m checking accounts without dread. I’m making decisions instead of avoiding them. I’m not fully caught up yet, but I feel steadier, and that matters more in the moment. Progress doesn’t always look like numbers moving dramatically. Sometimes it looks like staying engaged instead of giving up.

A bad month doesn’t mean I’m bad with money. It means I’m living in real life, where things don’t always line up neatly with a plan. The paycheck reset gives me a way to respond to that reality without adding shame or pressure. For me, rebalancing isn’t about starting over. It’s about getting stable enough to keep going, one paycheck at a time.

If you need a simple way to map out that next paycheck without overcorrecting, here’s the paycheck-to-debt decision planner I created and use to reset after a rough month.

High Debt/

How I’m Navigating Debt in a Broken Economy (With Accountability, Not Shame)

How I’m Navigating Debt in a Broken Economy (With Accountability, Not Shame)

I’ve been thinking a lot about what accountability actually means in a season where the economy feels broken. Not broken in a dramatic, headline way, but in a quiet, everyday way. The kind where you work full time, do what you’re “supposed” to do, and still end up living paycheck to paycheck.

For me, accountability no longer means doing everything perfectly. It means showing up even when I don’t want to. It means being honest about what I can and can’t sustain, and then committing to the choices I make instead of constantly backtracking.

A simple example: if I say I’m done using DoorDash, then I’m done. Not “mostly done.” Not “unless I’m tired.” If I give myself that boundary, I stick to it. That’s accountability for me right now. Not punishment. Not restriction. Just consistency.

What makes this season especially hard is that so much of the advice around debt assumes the economy is fair. It assumes wages match the cost of living. It assumes rent isn’t increasing faster than paychecks. It assumes groceries are manageable and that finding a part-time job to supplement income is realistic. None of that feels true right now.

I work full time. And still, things feel tight. That disconnect messes with your head. It makes you question yourself instead of the system. It turns financial stress into personal shame, even when the math doesn’t add up.

For a long time, I carried the belief that I shouldn’t have gotten myself into this debt. That if I were smarter or more disciplined, I wouldn’t be here. I have degrees. I’ve done the work. And yet, there isn’t a savings cushion that reflects any of that. That narrative is hard to shake. It’s easy to turn debt into a moral failure instead of what it often is: a combination of timing, systems, and survival.

That’s where the shame creeps in. And shame is what makes people avoid their finances altogether.

I’ve learned that strict budgeting doesn’t work for me when I’m already overwhelmed. Neither does pretending I can’t enjoy my life at all until every balance is gone. When I try to force myself into rigid systems, I don’t become more disciplined. I shut down. I avoid looking. I backtrack. That’s not accountability, it’s burnout.

What’s been more helpful is narrowing my focus. Instead of trying to fix everything at once, I make decisions that keep me engaged. I prioritize what needs to be handled first when money is tight, and I give myself permission to let the rest wait. I’ve written more about how I decide what debt gets paid first when money is tight, because that shift alone has helped me stop spiraling.

I’m also learning how to track progress without turning it into another source of stress. I don’t need constant reminders of how far I still have to go. I need proof that my effort counts, even when it’s small. That’s why tracking things like selling items to pay down debt has worked for me. It makes progress feel tangible, not abstract, and it helps me stay consistent instead of giving up when things feel slow.

Accountability, in this season, looks like showing up imperfectly. It looks like choosing systems that don’t punish me for being human. It looks like making progress wherever I can, even if it doesn’t fit into a clean spreadsheet or a viral money framework.

I’m not pretending this is easy. And I’m not pretending I have it all figured out. But I am choosing to stop layering shame on top of an already difficult reality. The economy can be broken without me being broken too.

I still believe in accountability. I just believe it should support your life, not shrink it.

If you need a place to start, I put together the paycheck-to-debt decision planner I’ve been using to sort what gets paid first when money feels tight. You can check it out here.